불평은 마음을 죽이는 사람이다

Complaining Is The Mind Killer If You're Going To Rewire Your Brain, Rewire It For The Better This is a weekly newsletter about the art and science of building and investing in tech companies. To receive Investing 101 in your inbox each week, subscribe here: When I was in high school, I ran for Student Body President. I was far from a popular shoe-in for a school wide popularity contest. But I gave it my all. After the election, the results were going to be announced in an end of the year assembly in front of the entire school. The morning of the assembly, I was nervous about the outcome. My mom gave me advice that made me feel so much better. “You’ve done everything you can, there’s nothing left you can do. Get a seat by the exit. If you don’t win, I’ll meet you in the hall and we can go to lunch. If you’re prepared for the worst, then we can just make the best of it.” The principle my mom taught me has since become part of “my music.” The principles that guide me life. "Prepare for the worst, and expect the best to come from it.” Since then, I’ve had plenty of experiences in my life that had worst case scenarios. Things to prepare for, things that don’t always go my way. What I learned from that principle that my mom taught me was that there is value in preparing for the worst and then expecting the best. But the other side of that coin that can be the mind killer is the inclination to languish in the worst of it. To sorrow in lamentations. To complain. Rewiring Your Brain Multiple studies have found that constant rumination and persistent negative thoughts often “underlie a tendency toward maladaptive stress responses, anxiety, depression, and difficulties disengaging from negative thoughts.” One finding in particular struck me; this idea of a “salience network.” If someone habitually complains or focuses on negative things, the salience network can start tagging negative cues as more important than neutral or positive ones. Some people see my framework of “preparing for the worst” as a kind of pessimism. But in my perspective, something can’t be adequately put into the back of your mind until its been considered. Preparing for it is allowing to pass away in importance. Make it less salient; less top of mind. Meanwhile, I’ve seen the increasing prevalence in people who are almost addicted to what feels like disappointment porn. This addictive, intoxicating need to gossip, whine, and complain. The most successful people are often allergic to that kind of behavior. But its not just about success or striving. Its a legitimate health issue. One of the best posts on this I saw a couple months ago: Complaining is literally voluntary brain damage. We’re choosing to damage our psyche. And, like any addiction, it becomes intoxicating not to stop. The more you complain, the better it feels to keep complaining. It’s your default mechanism. So how do you break the chains of complaining? “Good” I came across a playlist a few months ago by Akira The Don (I think John Coogan posted it on Twitter) and I’ve been listening to it on repeat ever since. It’s an exceptional remix of great quotes from Jocko Willink mixed with some EDM lift. The whole playlist is exceptional, but one song in particular struck me that I’ve listened to it easily hundreds of times. The song is called Good. It comes from the Jocko podcast. It’s worth sharing the entire essence of the song here: ”One of my direct subordinates, one of my guys that worked for me, he would call me up or pull me aside with some major problem, some issue that was going on. And he’d say ‘boss, we got this, that, and the other thing.’ And I’d look at him, and I’d say, “good.” Finally, one day, he was telling me about some issue that he was having, some problem, and he said, ‘I already know what you’re gonna say.’ And I said, ‘well, what am I going to say?’ And he said, ‘you’re gonna say “good.” That’s what you always say. When something is wrong, and going bad, you always just look at me and say “good.”’ And I said, “Well yeah. And I mean it. When things are going bad, there’s going to be some good that’s going to come from it.” Mission got cancelled? Good. We can focus on the other one. Didn’t get the new high-speed gear we wanted? Good. We can keep it simple. Didn’t get promoted? Good. More time to get better. Didn’t get funded? Good. We own more of the company. Didn’t get the job we wanted? Good. We can get more experience and build a better resume. Got injured? Sprained my ankle? Good. Needed a break from training. Got tapped out? Good. Better to tap in training than tap out on the street. Got beat? Good. You learned. Unexpected problems? Good. You have the opportunity to figure out a solution. And that’s it. When things are going bad, don’t get all bummed out, don’t get startled, don’t get frustrated. You just look at the issue, and you say, “Good.” I don’t mean to say something that’s all cliche and be Mr. Positive. But do that. Focus on the good. Take that issue, ta